no. wire. hangers!
2003-09-11@11:33 a.m.

I reached a new spectacular low today. I was watching Mad About You (after that unfortunately named baby was born) and clicking on every single D-land banner I come across. Okay, its worse than that. I was actually refreshing in an attempt to find banners for something other than Gold Membership and 12% Beer. Seriously, how many banners do they have? Finally I stumbled on one that seemed promising, something about sex and intellectuals. So far I haven't found the sex, but the first entry I read gave me a nice idea for an entry of my own. Thanks, Dani-Lou.

Dani-Lou's entry about corporal punishment for children (she's pro and so am I, there's a huge difference between punishment and abuse, some kids could use a swat on the ass) reminded me of how spankings essentially ended for me.

I played softball, badly, for much of my childhood and as a spectacularly mediocre player I got hurt. A lot. My mother's advice to me everytime I took a ball to the shin or the throat, just as painful as it sounds, or even the time I tripped over the second baseman and knocked all of the air out of my lungs was to 'laugh it off'. A strange variation on the traditional 'walk it off', 'laugh it off' was different in that it actually worked. If you could get that first wild giggle out the absurdity of it would hit you and soon you'd be laughing so hard the bruised knee, or larynx as the case may be, was a complete afterthought.

You would think that as smart as my mother is she would have realized that this advice would come back to haunt her. I don't remember what I had done to deserve a spanking, but I'm sure I did most assuredly deserve it. Not bad enough to deserve a bare ass at least, but a leather belt is going to hurt even through layers of jeans and underwear. So when she started walloping I started laughing. Exactly as she had taught me. Moms don't like to be laughed at when they're spanking their kids though, so the harder I laughed, the harder she spanked until finally we reached a stale mate. All pain aside, it did kind of work.

Number of spankings I got after that: none.

Wooden spoons upside the head: countless.

< we are all entitled to our opinions, or i like dumb people - liv tyler: now with improved sucking power >

Name: MsMongi aka Kim
AIM: Lola_N_Slacks

Too Pink? Bite me.

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